Force it, but take your time

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I haven’t been posting. In fact, I’ve been avoiding the I-don’t-know-what-to-say ailment by working on my piano playing skills. This week, I’m learning a Mozart minuet and practicing two-handed major scales. I’ve been avoiding this blog.

This morning, as I was wrapping up a quick 30-minute practice sesh in between slurps of coffee, I turned around and saw a short stack of empty journals and 3 unread books. I had to fight the urge to pick up one and start it on my commute today. I’m supposed to be finishing Everything is Illuminated. It’s obviously not hooking me in if I’m ready to jump ship and start a different book.

All of the sudden, I was overwhelmed with the desire to do the things I love: read the books I want, write, work on playing piano again, and keep toiling with powertools in my garage so that deconstructed pallet becomes a beautiful work of art. I felt overwhelming drive and inspiration to DO. These are the things I want right now. I’ve also started running again, for my sanity and for my health. How can I find my balance? Right now, I’m not fitting all the pieces together very well. I’m “wanting” too many things.

I’m also feeling a little discontent about other things in my life, which is making me strive for satisfaction through creative outlets. But I need to be intentional about it. I can’t just start grasping and reaching for so many things that I create a feeling of being overwhelmed and general failure. Pick my goals.

My goals are: use this blog to keep be balanced and intentional, which means writing about it. Use this space to quell my desire to write. Keep up with piano, use weekends to use powertools, and run. Maybe I’ll do a day-in-the-life, how my brain optimizes (or doesn’t) my free time and what sort of things I learn about myself as I document. That’s an idea for you.

 

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